It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
