Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I lost the right to judge tonight
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
