it was like his penis was on wheels.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
