so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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