when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I love you. Go after that dick
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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