I think my fart just growled at me.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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