4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
