What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
is wine microwaveable?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
