Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
