sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
