Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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