I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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