Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
