it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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