I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
