You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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