Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
