I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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