Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
