i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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