We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
