p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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