i think i have herpe
just one?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
