i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
