the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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