we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
vagina is talking i cant
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
