Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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