Where are you?
In a non slutty way
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
