i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
