brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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