Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
