And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
