Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
