420 ftw
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
