I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
