He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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