We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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