the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
