K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
