Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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