i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
