So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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