operation have a gay friend backfired
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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