I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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