Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
