Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
