my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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