i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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