He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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