please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
